Turn heads with these awesomely unsexy costumes


Halloween is often a time to unleash that sexy kitten normally hidden under the comforting layers of fall. The sexy Halloween costume has its effect, but here are some definite pluses to the unsexy costume…

My journey into the unsexy started my freshman year of college. Finding a particularly fine men’s (there was no women’s version) cow costume online, I decided that dressing as a barn animal could be fun. The cow became my staple, my calling card, my opus magnum. Post graduation, the obsession continued: I donned a turkey costume one year, a lobster (the most imperial of crustaceans) the next.


Sort Out the People Without a Sense of Humour

Freshman year of college, everyone is a bit more judgmental. In a room full of sexy kittens, belly dancers, and Jasmine princesses, I stuck out among the hot Halloween costumes, cow fabric sagging from my petite frame (maybe someday they’ll make cow costumes for women – a girl can dream). I can still picture a girl at a house party trying to pass me on the stairs, clutching her red cup tightly to her side, eyes bulging and mouth open, her look laden with terror and disgust, unable to understand the tiny bovine headed her way. This is a life lesson: some people will never understand you and that’s okay.

Hanging with Friends

Enjoy the night with your friends. Don’t worry about creepy dudes hitting on you. Just be yourself and have a good time.

Despite the bold black and white print, the costume made me quite invisible to lurkers. One white thigh-exposing, short-shorted gym teacher who joined my sexy kitty friend and I on the couch put his arms around us both and promptly turned in her direction.

“How do you guys know each other?” he asked.
“She feeds me,” She smiled pointing over to me, twitching her whiskers.
“I’m quite popular around barn cats,” I explained, but he had already turned back to start a new topic with my feline friend.

That was easy, I told myself. Sometimes you don’t want to flirt with anyone; you only want to hang out with your friends. The unsexy costume allows just that.


You Are Actually Comfortable

There is a reason you put sweaters on in the fall. There’s a reason hula girls don’t wear sweaters. The unsexy costume is an excellent excuse to wear more. The closer to Snuggie fabric, the closer to greatness. What else would you want to wear to a fall party?


You Have Great Pictures

As the out-of-the-box thinker of the party, everyone wants to take pictures with you, meaning you’ll always have great photos from the night. I always find getting really into your character builds comedic appeal. It’s Halloween – this is serious funny business.

Make New Friends

Sporting the unsexy costume is like waving a huge flag that says, “You get me?” Anyone who enjoys your costume will probably make good friend material.


Don’t be afraid to take a chance on an unsexy costume. Outer beauty attracts, but inner beauty captivates. When you’re focused on your friends and the fun at hand instead of making sure your costume is still strategically covering the right places, you can let your confidence and humor shine through. If you’ve chosen a sexy costume this year, kudos to you, too – let’s take a selfie together later. As for myself, you’ll find me at the bar, beer in hand, draped in something furry, and over-sized, ready to laugh with you.