We are so happy to share with you one beautiful and inspiring skincare journey. Namely, we asked our loyal readers to share their stories about finding the right skincare routine with us and we truly enjoyed reading them. Still, one deserves to be published. Read the story of Mariana who knows what does it mean to fight acne.
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I believed that my worth was measured by my skin
I’m Mariana and I’m 22, my biggest skin concern is acne. I can’t remember my life without it. Since I was 11-12 years old I’ve been struggling with it. I remember my mom saying that it was normal at my age, that everyone has acne because you are growing up and there’s a lot happening in your body. Still, girls at my school didn’t see it that way. They saw me as a weirdo, the girl with the cheese face, I was called SO many mean things that I ended up believing that my worth was measured by my skin.
I was an amazing student, I was smart, I had amazing grades, I was a kind friend and classmate but none of that was enough for those girls because I had acne.
I was bullied for 3 years and one day I just couldn’t handle it and I decided not to go to school anymore. I used to do a lot of stuff to cover my acne (at 12 years old I got my first makeup foundation). I used to eat nothing thinking that would clear my acne, I used to cry at night wondering why I wasn’t one of those girls with amazing porcelain skin. Ice, toothpaste, derm visits, professional facials, more derm visits, and nothing worked… Not only that, but some things used to make my pimples look worse. I was desperate to get rid of them that I was willing to do anything if it meant no more pimples.
I hated myself and I hated those girls and they knew it and that gave them the power to talk to me like they did.
I was depressed because I didn’t feel safe and comfortable at school and I didn’t feel safe and comfortable with myself.
I’m mind, beauty and love
When I was 15 I changed school and started high school and I remember thinking to myself “What can I do to prevent people at my new school from laughing at me?” and I came up with a crazy idea. I was going to show the world that I didn’t care about my acne. In fact, I loved it and was comfortable with it (even though I wasn’t and I was very insecure). I slowly started to incorporate these thoughts into my life and I can’t really tell for how long I did it, but one day I realized that people were not looking at my skin anymore and if they were I didn’t care.
No one ever told me anything about my skin because they no longer had the power to, I had it. And the more I did this and had this narrative in my head the more I realized that acne didn’t matter.
I realized that I’m not my skin condition, I’m much more than that. I’m a human. I’m mind, intelligence, beauty, and love. I’m strength. I’m wisdom. I’m a complex human being that goes beyond looks. I started to realize that I had the power, in my mind, to become and feel however I wanted to, so I started looking at myself as a beautiful girl with acne, and the world started to look at me like that too.
I stopped thinking and caring about what others said, and stopped googling “how to get rid of acne fast”… I also started to talk to myself (and my acne) kindly. It took me years to accept that my skin is what it is, that it will never be perfect because that doesn’t exist, but most importantly I understood that the fact that my skin has pimples isn’t my fault. It’s a combination of a lot of things like hormones,
genetics, pollution, weather, lifestyle, etc.
Good Molecules and FOREO
For years I was doing barely anything for my skin (cleanse, moisturizing and sunscreen), but I was comfortable with that. Then pandemic hit the world and I got diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Like a lot of people I was very stressed and got a lot of acne and breakouts. I had pimples on my chest and neck and that made me feel even worse because I always had acne but only on my face. Also, my family’s economical situation was terrible so I didn’t feel like I could ask for money to buy skincare products or to go to a derm.
One day I came across a brand called Good Molecules and I loved the concept, the transparency they had with ingredients and the best part was that it was actually affordable. But, I had to sell some stuff because it was the only way I could afford the products and I don’t regret it. It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve been using their products and I like them a lot. Slowly I’ve incorporated more stuff like a Gua Sha and FOREO’s UFO and some of their masks.
Advices for those who are fighting acne
After all of those years of struggling, I still think I have a long way. There are days when I see my skin and think it’s disgusting and others when I have pimples and black spots, but my skin looks glowing and healthy and I feel like the most beautiful person in the world. I’m still learning to love and accept my skin and myself. So this is for you, who is struggling with acne, who feels worthless because of a pimple (or lots):
You are amazing and beautiful and much more than your acne. Looks don’t define you and if anyone ever tells you otherwise don’t let it affect you, another thing that I’ve learned is that people criticize others for what they hate about themselves. So, if someone says you’re ugly that’s because they feel like that.
My biggest advice would be:
- Be compassionate and kind to yourself
- Don’t be too hard on your skin
- Don’t say hurtful words to yourself
- Take baby steps on accepting your skin. Maybe one day you have 3 pimples and you cover 2 with concealer and leave one without. That’s a big, brave thing to do.
- Love yourself and your body for what they are, not for what they might or might not represent.
- Wear sunscreen and if you can afford a Gua Sha, get one, you are going to love it. If not, you can use your hands and google lymphatic drainage for your face. You got this, you are not alone. You are beautiful and I’m proud of you for whatever you are doing for your skin.