What does your summer reading pick tell the world? Probably more than you think.

A properly-packed beach tote includes all the summer vacation necessities: sunscreen, a beach towel, flip-flops and a book – or 5. Here are our 2017 top book recommendations and what they say about you:

 

See What I Have Done

“You know what would go well with this piña colada? A gory murder or two.”

You may be a gal with suppressed homicidal tendencies or just a worn-out woman in need of an escape. Either way, Sarah Schmidt’s fictional account of Lizzie Borden’s adventures with an axe will send a subtle hint to your family about what might happen if you don’t get some peace and quiet.

 

Girls in White Dresses

“All my friends are married and I’m not.”

This is the first vacation you’ve taken in years that doesn’t involve attending someone else’s nuptials. So why not spend it reading about more weddings? Jennifer Close’s novel detailing the lives of three 20-somethings struggling to find love in the midst of wedding season is ultra-relatable for anyone who’s ever been a bridesmaid, or seen a bridal magazine for that matter. And hey, if it’s all hitting a little too close to home, you can always angry-throw it in the ocean–then go get it and recycle, obviously.

 

Sour Heart

“Nothing relaxes me quite like the misery of others.”

Why be blissfully happy in paradise when you can delve into the complex lives of American immigrants with Jenny Zhang’s short story collection? Tales of rat-infested tenements and child abuse may not be everyone’s idea of a mental vacation, but we’re confident you’ll find some other glass-half-empty folks to discuss this book with at that Christmas in July party you definitely don’t want to attend.

 

Sloppy Firsts

“I’ll never be too old for young adult fiction–or fringe bikinis!”

You may be thousands of miles away from your adult responsibilities, but that’s just not far enough. Return to adolescence with witty heroine Jessica Darling in the first novel of this YA series by Megan McCafferty.

 

Literally Any Paperback Romance Novel

“Soaring temperatures be damned, let’s heat things up!”

For you, summer vacation is alive with sensuality – all those tanned, oily bodies in an endless parade of exposed flesh. You don’t even bother hiding the racy cover – who cares? You’re far too busy discovering new euphemisms for male body parts to bother with feigned prudishness.

 

The Literary Classic

“I know I should read this, but who has the time?”

While everyone else is indulging in frivolous fiction, you’re taking advantage of unlimited reading time to up your literary cred. We applaud your effort to take on the titans of text, and therefore will not judge when Dostoyevsky becomes nothing more than a sun shade during a nice beach nap.