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Your Beginners Guide to Tantric Yoni Massage

Woman's Hands in Bath
If you’re always looking for ways to improve your relationship with your body and your sex life, then you may have heard of yoni massage before. It’s a practice that’s been around for a while but only started becoming mainstream a few years ago. And not without reason. Vaginal massages have many health benefits and can be a great way to learn to love yourself and embrace your sexuality.

What Is a Yoni Massage Aka Vaginal Massage?

Yoni is a vagina in Sanskrit, and it means a “sacred place.” Yoni massage is a very old tantric sexual practice that involves stimulating the yoni (aka vagina). It’s a sensual massage that focuses on the experience rather than the orgasm. The main objective of this sexual practice is to worship the vagina, approaching it with care and respect, which is the thing that helps people with vaginas find their sexual empowering.

Yoni Massage Benefits

While vaginal massage is not a scientifically proven practice that your gynecologist would suggest, people’s experiences show that it does have a ton of benefits for those who engage in the activity:

1. Sexual Empowerment

Yoni massage can help improve your sex life in various ways. First, it allows you to explore your body and truly learn what you like and don’t in a safe environment. When the pressure to perform for your partner is removed, you can better connect with your own pleasure. Second, vaginal massage can help people with sexual trauma heal and re-build a better relationship with themselves. During this practice, connecting with your genitals in a way that’s not necessarily sexual can help combat any negative feelings you might have towards it. And lastly, yoni massage practice helps fight the stigma surrounding sex and any shame that comes with it, which in turn helps you improve the way you view sex and how you enjoy it.

2. Relieves Vaginal Tension and Combats Pain

You might be carrying a lot of tension down there without even knowing it. Vaginal massage can help elevate it, helping your vaginal muscles relax and, as some people believe, release any toxic and negative energy. As for people who struggle with pain during intercourse, yoni massage can help with that as well. The massage helps relax the muscles and increase the blood flow into the genitalia. With consistent practice, you might see an improvement in how much more relaxed and aroused you’re during sex, which should help with any discomfort.

3. Helps With Body Confidence

Connecting with your body naked in an intimate way can do wonders for your body confidence and self-esteem issues. Vaginal massage can help you feel more into yourself, embrace your body and your pleasure without shame. And as a result of that, you can feel more into having sex with your partner and enjoy it way more.

Should You Go See a Professional?

There are professional masseurs who specialize in yoni massage. However, the prices can go anywhere from $50 to $300, which might not be for every budget. However, if you choose to go the professional route and get an expert to massage you, it’s important to research the professionals and massage places beforehand. Because it isn’t a regulated practice, anyone can claim to be a vaginal massage expert. And with the sensitive and intimate nature of this practice, you want to ensure that you’re in the hands of someone you trust and who respects you and your boundaries.

How to Perform Yoni Massage on Yourself

If you’ve decided to experiment solo, we have a few tips that will surely help you get started:

1. Prepare Ahead of Time

When preparing to give yourself a yoni massage, the first thing you’ll want to do is set the scene. You’ll want to have a safe, clean space with no distractions. So, turn off your phone, and lock your bedroom doors so that nobody disturbs you in the middle. You want to leave enough time for the massage, so you wouldn’t feel rushed or stressed about things waiting for you on your to-do list. 


It might be a good idea to have a long, relaxing bath beforehand. Bring out your essential oils and salt that will help you set the mood and relax your muscles. If you’re feeling rather anxious or uncomfortable, setting 10 minutes for meditation can help you clear and prepare your mind. This is also a perfect time to be honest with yourself and get clear on your intention for going into this experience. For example, are you looking to get to know your body better and connect with it? Or are you struggling with orgasming during partnered sex and want to change that? You can even go as far as to journal your feelings and thoughts beforehand. This will help you reflect on your experiences later down the line when you get further into your vaginal massage practice.

2. First – Warming Up

Once the scene is set, you’ll want to warm up. While the vaginal massage is about the vagina mostly, other parts of your body also come into play and are important. You want to start by gently massaging your body. Breast massage is a perfect place to start, so touch your breasts and see what feels good. You can touch your nipples, but don’t only focus on the peaks. Instead, try running fingers all over your breasts, under them, and around. Working your way down to your ribs and belly is your next step. 


Don’t simply skip and jump straight to your vagina. Your abdomen has a lot of nerve endings that are sensitive and will feel amazing when you touch it. The same goes for your legs. Go as far as rubbing your feet, slowly, massaging your legs as you go up to the most sensitive parts — your inner thighs. Explore how it feels everywhere, feel your body awaken, and prepare for the next part.

3. Breathing

Breathing is a crucial part of any tantric sex experience, and yoni massage is no exception. The key is to breathe deep and slow, which will allow your body to relax better and improve blood circulation. When taking in the breaths, let your lungs and belly fully expand, taking in as much air as possible. Then, hold your breath in for 5 seconds before exhaling, once again, slow and deep. Repeat the action as you go, and soon you’ll see that it gets easier to keep the rhythm going. Also, if you find it hard to keep your breathing steady as you explore, don’t stress about it. Even if you forget to breathe, you can always go back and try again. And like with everything, the more you practice, the easier it’s going to get. So, just keep going, and you’ll find the right rhythm for you.

4. Find the Perfect Position

During your solo yoni massage, you want to be comfortable and have good access to your body. You might want to try either the Lotus position or simply laying down on your back. If you choose to try Lotus, you want to sit with your back straight, legs crossed. Put a cushion or a few under your butt if you feel uncomfortable or can’t fully get into Lotus without straining a muscle. Place your hands on your knees and start breathing. If sitting down is not your favorite, you can simply lay down for your massage. First, make sure you’re comfortable. You can place a few pillows behind your back to give you better access to various body parts. Relax your muscles and let your hands rest on your sides or your belly as you start breathing.

5. Feel Yourself

Once you’re warmed up and comfortable, it’s time to start exploring and getting familiar with your yoni. You can start by circling your finger over the clit, later letting your fingers slide around the entrance of your vagina. Don’t shy away from using a lubricant to help you explore your yoni. Lather your clit and labia with it and glide your fingers in different ways and patterns, seeing what feels the best and what kind of emotions each action evokes. You might feel ashamed or embarrassed, or even disconnected. But, don’t turn away from those negative feelings and take breaks when needed to allow yourself to relax and understand why touching yourself makes you feel a certain type of way. As we’ve already established, vaginal massage is not about orgasm but rather about self-discovery and connecting with your body, so don’t pressure yourself to feel a certain way during this practice.

Yoni Massage Techniques

There is no need to follow a certain technique of exploring yourself. Feeling your yoni and going with your intuition is enough if that works for you. However, if you’re not sure where to start and how to touch yourself, then you might want to try some of these vaginal massage techniques:

1. Circle

With a finger, draw circles around your clit. Move it closer before retreating and then coming in closer again. Next, place a finger of your dominant hand over the top of the clit and circle around for more intense stimulation. Or use the finger of a non-dominant hand for more gentle, softer stimulation.

2. Roll

With your thumb and index finger, pinch the head of the clit and gently roll it back and forth. Keep your grip light first, then if it feels good, tighten in and alternate in between for different stimulation levels.

3. Tap

With your index finger, tap the head of your clit in fast or slow motions like you’d tap a button. Then, add more fingers to change the intensity and see how your body responds to different rhythms and intensities of stimuli.

4. Push and Pull

With one or more fingers, push your clitoris down, away from your navel, and then pull it back up. Again, start slow, syncing your movements to the breathing and then increasing the speed as you go.

5. Cup

Cup your vagina holding your palm over it. Breathe slow and deeply while you connect with how the sensation of simply touching yourself feels. After a while, you can start moving your hand down and up your length, rubbing your clit and vaginal entrance. If it feels good, move your hand in a circular motion, letting the heel of your palm rub against your clit.

6. Tug

With your thumb and index finger, tug your clitoris away from your body and then let it go. Then, do the same with your lips, gently tugging on them and then letting go. Go back and forth between the two, and remember to be gentle and only tug if it’s comfortable and feels good.

7. Finger

When you’re ready to venture inside, start small and insert one finger inside your vagina. First, feel the nerves at the very entrance, dipping your finger in and out. Then, move deeper inside and feel the walls of your vagina better. Next, you can move your finger in circles or simply thrust it in and out, whichever feels better.

8. Squeeze

As you insert a finger inside your vagina, squeeze your muscles as if you were doing Kegel exercises and see how it feels in different areas. Then, if you’re feeling comfortable, insert another finger and repeat the motion, exploring what feels the best.

9. Hit the Spot

You can also massage your G-spot during a yoni massage. First, make sure you’re aroused enough, and then insert two fingers curling them inwards. A few inches in, on the top wall of your vagina, you’ll find a ridged area. That’s your G-spot. Experiment with rubbing the area or circling it to stimulate the spot. You can also add external stimulation by using another hand to play with your clit while you massage your G-spot.

Involve Your Partner

While vaginal massage is completely satisfactory all on your own, you might want to consider including your partner as well. This can help you improve your communication in the bedroom and improve your sex life because you have an opportunity to allow your partner to see what turns you on as you both explore. It also builds intimacy because you’re doing something very personal and emotionally vulnerable together with your partner. You can ask your partner to touch you and massage your body, giving back feedback on what feels good and what doesn’t. It’s also going to help you be more comfortable naked around your partner. And yoni massage is a great time for both of you to express your love for each other’s bodies.

It’s a Continuous Experience

This yoni practice is a journey to self-acceptance and love, so don’t be upset if the first time doesn’t turn out perfect. It’s all about exploring different parts of your body and your pleasure. And the best way to do so is by consistently treating yourself to a yoni massage and learning all the new ways that make you feel good. Author: Karolina Wilde This article was first published on Volonté blog.






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